Articles

The Sactown Chronicles: The Post-Adelman Spiral

Those last eight years were sure fun right? Life just hasn't been the same since the Kings fired Rick Adelman. At least we kept our team in Sacramento though.

The Sacramento Kings organization would like to apologize for the last eight years of playoff games, exciting basketball, and hope. They now return you to your regular programming.

Ron Artest arrived midway through the 2005-06 season and led the Kings to the playoffs. In 2006-07, the team was his, and a player that was pretty much reviled in Sacramento prior to his arrival was now the face of the franchise. Artest (he did not become Metta World Peace until 2011). Kevin Martin was emerging as a player, and Mike Bibby and Brad Miller were still making solid contributions, but Artest's all-around baseline-to-baseline game is the straw that stirs the drink.

Sign of the times: The Maloofs gorge themselves on a Carl's Jr. commercial featuring the $6,000 burger (a burger with an outrageously expensive bottle of Bordeaux), driving a nail into the coffin of measures €œQ€ & €œR€, which would have helped fund a new arena, albeit not with the greasing that the Fu... Brothers were looking for.

Fun(!!!) fact: Oh, Ronnie! Why'd you do Carlos Boozer dirty like that? (Spoiler alert: Jerry Reynolds' infectious giggle.)

2007-08

Kevin Martin comes into his own. Artest is still pretty much running the show (well, Artest and new coach Reggie Theus' ego), but Martin was a model of efficiency, leading the team in scoring at 23.4 ppg on 14.8 shots, compared to Artest at 19.4 on 15.9. Martin shot 40% from three, and 87% from the line, where he was making better than eight free throws a game.

Sign of the times: Beno Udrih is unexpectedly signed, Mike Bibby is dealt for spare parts. The Kings finish 38-44.

Fun (?) fact: Justin Williams is arrested in October for allegedly holding a woman against her will, with the assistance of another woman. The nickname €œThree-Wil€ is born. Williams is released in February.

2008-09

Martin. He does miss 31 games while scoring 24.6 a game on 15.9 shots, but your next best choice is probably Beno Udrih's 11 points and 4.7 assists.

Sign of the times: Artest is traded prior to the season for Donté Greene, Bobby Jackson and the draft pick that becomes Omri Casspi. Theus is fired 6-18 start, and Kenny Natt brings a roster that eventually sees 21 different players on it to a final 17-65 record. Rock, meet bottom.

Fun(?) fact: Better days ahead, folks, as Shock and Hawes arrives on the scene.

2009-10

Tyreke Evans. The 20-5-5 run foisted by the organization actually sullied what was a very rare rookie season, 20.1 pts, 5.8 assists, 5.3 rebounds. The debate rages as to whether or not Evans is a point guard, but he definitely shows that he's a player, and perhaps one to build with/around moving forward. Ricky Rubio may have been the fan's choice, but after this no one would ever question drafting a kid out of a southern college over an international player ever again.

Sign of the times: Kevin Martin is traded under the false premise that he cannot / won't play alongside Evans, while the truth is that the Maloofs are hemorrhaging money and are looking for ways to keep the lights on. The Fu€¦ Brothers had already sold their father's beer distributorship €“ the backbone of the Maloof's empire €“ and the talk of the Kings leaving Sacramento had accelerated. How are those burgers, boys?

Fun(?) fact: About Martin, he started the season on a 30.6 pts. / 5.4 rebs. / 2.6 asts. / 2.0 steals tear through the first five games of the season. He hurt his hand while scoring 48 points in game four and followed that up with 29 points in game five. Martin sat out game six, at which point Grant Napear questioned Martin's toughness. It was later discovered that Martin had a broken wrist, and he would miss the next 32 games. Napear never recanted his statement.

2010-11

Evans was the best player when healthy, but he missed 25 games. Rookie DeMarcus Cousins played 81 games but was incredibly inefficient for a center and couldn't stay out of foul trouble. Beno Udrih was the steadiest throughout the season, and Marcus Thornton was a late-season shot in the arm after being acquired for Carl Landry.

Sign of the times: Roof-to-ground banners of Cousins and Evans are unfurled outside ARCO Arena at the beginning of the season.

Fun(?) fact: Local fan favorite Jon €œMancakes€ Brockman is traded for Darnell Jackson and what would become the 60th pick in the following year's draft. Really, Geoff? What in the world do you expect to draft at #60?

2011-12:

Cousins, who is about to embark on a (spoiler alert!) six year run as the team's best player.18 and 11 for Cuz in this strike-shortened season.

Sign of the times:

sport dancing GIF

Fun(?) fact: Virginia Beach? Anaheim? It wasn't if, it was when and where.

2012-13

Cousins. He was good. Of course, there were also these moments€¦

Sign of the times:

Fun (!) not a fact:

***

Bye-bye, Fu€¦ Brothers. Our team has been saved by a whale, and the years of playoff futility must be near its end. It's the dawn of a new day.

Support Us On Patreon
Subscribe
Notify of
58 Comments
Oldest
Newest Most Voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
RikSmits
Patreon Supporter
Comments
Vote Up
Original Member
Patreon Supporter
Comments
Vote Up
Original Member
May 28, 2020 8:31 am

It is sad that my fondest memory of this era is not basketball related, but the Here We Stay movement (and success) and the way it bonded the fans.

Also, F the Maloofs, but this was epic (and became Fippin’s 2 minutes of fame?).

Last edited 2 years ago by RikSmits
ZillersCat
Patreon Supporter
Comments
Vote Up
Patreon Supporter
Comments
Vote Up
May 28, 2020 9:11 am

Listening to Carmichael Dave and the Late show with RonRon was Classic.

Aykis16
Admin
Comments
Vote Up
Author
Original Member
Nostradumbass 13
Comments
Vote Up
Author
Original Member
Nostradumbass 13
May 28, 2020 9:22 am
Reply to  ZillersCat

Oh yeah. I remember working 2-11pm shifts at Raleys and then I’d sit in my car and listen to that on the way home.

Klam
Patreon Supporter
Comments
Vote Up
Original Member
Nostradumbass 18
Nostradumbass 19
Patreon Supporter
Comments
Vote Up
Original Member
Nostradumbass 18
Nostradumbass 19
May 28, 2020 9:48 am
Reply to  Aykis16

One of my first jobs, I had was at Ralph’s grocery store in the bakery department. My hours sucked…4am-12:30pm. I lasted three weeks before I quit and I eventually got a job as an office assistant at a bank through a temp agency that lasted four months, and I got paid more and on many days was free to just watch YouTube on my laptop.

Kosta
Patreon Supporter
Comments
Vote Up
Original Member
Patreon Supporter
Comments
Vote Up
Original Member
May 28, 2020 10:09 am
Reply to  Klam

I’ve never worked at Ralph’s, but (even though I love nightshifts now) my most painful working hours took place as a Bee boy delivering newspapers in the wee hours of the morning. For some reason the only alarm clock I had at that time was an old metal-bell-clanging clock that never seemed to stop threatening a heart-attack in my young body every morning.

Klam
Patreon Supporter
Comments
Vote Up
Original Member
Nostradumbass 18
Nostradumbass 19
Patreon Supporter
Comments
Vote Up
Original Member
Nostradumbass 18
Nostradumbass 19
May 28, 2020 10:27 am
Reply to  Kosta

Before I got a smartphone in late 2012 (yes, I was late to get one), I had my traditional digital alarm clock waking me up, and man did I hate the sound of it because most of the time it would startle the f*ck out of me. When I finally got my first smartphone, my alarm ringtone has always been a very slow and peaceful water melody from a Zelda game.

Kosta
Patreon Supporter
Comments
Vote Up
Original Member
Patreon Supporter
Comments
Vote Up
Original Member
May 28, 2020 10:40 am
Reply to  RobHessing

Nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah

THUNDER!

Kosta
Patreon Supporter
Comments
Vote Up
Original Member
Patreon Supporter
Comments
Vote Up
Original Member
May 28, 2020 10:45 am
Reply to  RobHessing

Rob: “Time to START THE DAY!”comment image

Carl
Patreon Supporter
Comments
Vote Up
Original Member
Patreon Supporter
Comments
Vote Up
Original Member
May 28, 2020 4:01 pm
Reply to  RobHessing

I would start each day to the sound of applause

comment image

Last edited 2 years ago by Carl
L-Train3.1
Patreon Supporter
Comments
Original Member
Vote Up
Patreon Supporter
Comments
Original Member
Vote Up
May 31, 2020 2:45 am
Reply to  RobHessing

Wouldn’t that ruin the song for you in the future? Alarm music always does that for me.

Klam
Patreon Supporter
Comments
Vote Up
Original Member
Nostradumbass 18
Nostradumbass 19
Patreon Supporter
Comments
Vote Up
Original Member
Nostradumbass 18
Nostradumbass 19
May 28, 2020 9:26 am

Do you ever get Deja Vu?

but after this no one would ever question drafting a kid out of a southern college over an international player ever again.

Last edited 2 years ago by Klam
Kosta
Patreon Supporter
Comments
Vote Up
Original Member
Patreon Supporter
Comments
Vote Up
Original Member
May 28, 2020 10:00 am
Reply to  Klam

“Who didn’t question drafting a kid out of a southern college over an international player? THIS GUY!”

comment image

Last edited 2 years ago by Kosta
Kosta
Patreon Supporter
Comments
Vote Up
Original Member
Patreon Supporter
Comments
Vote Up
Original Member
May 28, 2020 9:40 am

I remember Jason Thompson had huge feet.

comment image

Last edited 2 years ago by Kosta
L-Train3.1
Patreon Supporter
Comments
Original Member
Vote Up
Patreon Supporter
Comments
Original Member
Vote Up
May 31, 2020 2:47 am
Reply to  Kosta

How big are his feet exactly? During a shoe giveaway event I learned I have bigger feet than Brad Miller.

Kosta
Patreon Supporter
Comments
Vote Up
Original Member
Patreon Supporter
Comments
Vote Up
Original Member
May 28, 2020 9:51 am

I’ve always been sad that for almost the entire lifespan of Sactown Royalty there were no Kings playoffs to watch and discuss. Was it a curse of the blog? Will a post-Sactown Royalty world bring us the playoffs finally? I don’t mind if we have to call them the Asterisk Playoffs. Just bring on the playoffs!

Last edited 2 years ago by Kosta
RikSmits
Patreon Supporter
Comments
Vote Up
Original Member
Patreon Supporter
Comments
Vote Up
Original Member
May 28, 2020 10:03 am
Reply to  Kosta

Greg ruined our play-off chances!

Adamsite
Patreon Supporter
Comments
Vote Up
Original Member
Nostradumbass 14
Patreon Supporter
Comments
Vote Up
Original Member
Nostradumbass 14
May 28, 2020 10:04 am

The only good thing to come out of those years was a certain online community where folks could talk Kings basketball, make penis jokes, and throw gif dance parties.

RikSmits
Patreon Supporter
Comments
Vote Up
Original Member
Patreon Supporter
Comments
Vote Up
Original Member
May 28, 2020 10:10 am

Mods, some of us are likely posting under an alias because they value their privacy. At least I do, to an extent.

Please fix the showing of actual names in replies. Thanks.

Kosta
Patreon Supporter
Comments
Vote Up
Original Member
Patreon Supporter
Comments
Vote Up
Original Member
May 28, 2020 10:16 am
Reply to  RikSmits

I’m waiting for RORDOG to comment so that I can reply to him and then reveal that he is truly Mike Bratz!

comment image

Last edited 2 years ago by Kosta
RORDOG
Comments
Vote Up
Patreon Supporter
Original Member
Comments
Vote Up
Patreon Supporter
Original Member
May 28, 2020 12:31 pm
Reply to  Kosta

one of the perks of being a gold level patron is you unlock the alias feature

Kosta
Patreon Supporter
Comments
Vote Up
Original Member
Patreon Supporter
Comments
Vote Up
Original Member
May 28, 2020 1:07 pm
Reply to  RORDOG

We can see through that disguise in your avatar, Bratz!

Kosta
Patreon Supporter
Comments
Vote Up
Original Member
Patreon Supporter
Comments
Vote Up
Original Member
May 28, 2020 10:39 am
Reply to  RobHessing

I’m replying to your comment in order to reveal your real name.

Let’s see what it is…

Klam
Patreon Supporter
Comments
Vote Up
Original Member
Nostradumbass 18
Nostradumbass 19
Patreon Supporter
Comments
Vote Up
Original Member
Nostradumbass 18
Nostradumbass 19
May 28, 2020 10:48 am
Reply to  Kosta

I think he changed from his original full name, “Section NoPants 214.”

Last edited 2 years ago by Klam
Klam
Patreon Supporter
Comments
Vote Up
Original Member
Nostradumbass 18
Nostradumbass 19
Patreon Supporter
Comments
Vote Up
Original Member
Nostradumbass 18
Nostradumbass 19
May 28, 2020 10:59 am
Reply to  RobHessing
comment image

Kosta
Patreon Supporter
Comments
Vote Up
Original Member
Patreon Supporter
Comments
Vote Up
Original Member
May 28, 2020 11:21 am
Reply to  RobHessing
comment image

Kosta
Patreon Supporter
Comments
Vote Up
Original Member
Patreon Supporter
Comments
Vote Up
Original Member
May 28, 2020 1:09 pm
Reply to  RobHessing
comment image

Klam
Patreon Supporter
Comments
Vote Up
Original Member
Nostradumbass 18
Nostradumbass 19
Patreon Supporter
Comments
Vote Up
Original Member
Nostradumbass 18
Nostradumbass 19
May 28, 2020 1:37 pm
Reply to  RobHessing
comment image?itemid=12326639

L-Train3.1
Patreon Supporter
Comments
Original Member
Vote Up
Patreon Supporter
Comments
Original Member
Vote Up
May 31, 2020 2:48 am
Reply to  Kosta

Is that Jaleel White?

Klam
Patreon Supporter
Comments
Vote Up
Original Member
Nostradumbass 18
Nostradumbass 19
Patreon Supporter
Comments
Vote Up
Original Member
Nostradumbass 18
Nostradumbass 19
May 28, 2020 10:44 am
Reply to  RobHessing
comment image

RikSmits
Patreon Supporter
Comments
Vote Up
Original Member
Patreon Supporter
Comments
Vote Up
Original Member
May 28, 2020 10:48 am
Reply to  RobHessing

In the land of the flaccid, Glasscock is king.

Aykis16
Admin
Comments
Vote Up
Author
Original Member
Nostradumbass 13
Comments
Vote Up
Author
Original Member
Nostradumbass 13
May 28, 2020 10:38 am
Reply to  RikSmits

Sorry Rik, this is an unintended consequence of updating the comment section. We’re aware and working on getting that reverted. Apologies for the inconvenience

RikSmits
Patreon Supporter
Comments
Vote Up
Original Member
Patreon Supporter
Comments
Vote Up
Original Member
May 28, 2020 11:09 am
Reply to  Aykis16

Okay, thank you.

Marty
Patreon Supporter
Comments
Vote Up
Original Member
Patreon Supporter
Comments
Vote Up
Original Member
May 28, 2020 4:29 pm
Reply to  RikSmits

Rik how were you able to edit your profile? Mine just gives me the circle with a line through it, I can’t seem to change anything.

RikSmits
Patreon Supporter
Comments
Vote Up
Original Member
Patreon Supporter
Comments
Vote Up
Original Member
May 28, 2020 9:17 pm
Reply to  Marty

I haven’t changed it. Like you, I can’t figure out how.

Carl
Patreon Supporter
Comments
Vote Up
Original Member
Patreon Supporter
Comments
Vote Up
Original Member
May 28, 2020 4:05 pm
Reply to  Aykis16

I thought that was the actual Dutch spelling of “Rik Smits.”

Last edited 2 years ago by Carl
Marty
Patreon Supporter
Comments
Vote Up
Original Member
Patreon Supporter
Comments
Vote Up
Original Member
May 28, 2020 4:24 pm
Reply to  Aykis16

I’m sitting kind of far back from the computer (I ate way too much for lunch), and would swear I just read the following several times before rubbing my eyes…

We’re aware and working on getting that perverted. 

TheFifthMookie
Patreon Supporter
Comments
Vote Up
Original Member
Patreon Supporter
Comments
Vote Up
Original Member
May 28, 2020 11:22 am
Reply to  RikSmits

If I’m using a pseudonym like in here, I’m consistent! just reply to find out

Otis
Patreon Supporter
Comments
Vote Up
Original Member
Patreon Supporter
Comments
Vote Up
Original Member
May 28, 2020 3:00 pm
Reply to  TheFifthMookie

“To find out”

Kosta
Patreon Supporter
Comments
Vote Up
Original Member
Patreon Supporter
Comments
Vote Up
Original Member
May 28, 2020 3:45 pm
Reply to  Otis

…finding out if you are Otis Thorpe, or Otis Redding?

Last edited 2 years ago by Kosta
Kosta
Patreon Supporter
Comments
Vote Up
Original Member
Patreon Supporter
Comments
Vote Up
Original Member
May 28, 2020 11:12 am

Pressing question:

SHOULD I WEAR KINGS GEAR FOR A ZOOM MEETING?

I’ll be on Zoom with a class of Sacramento 4th graders in an hour to talk about my work. It’s like “Bring your parent to school day” except it’s for my nephew. Will they just laugh at me and not take me seriously if I wear Kings gear?

It’s either that or a Garfield T-shirt, or one with a tiny illustration of a slice of pizza where an Izod logo would go.

Klam
Patreon Supporter
Comments
Vote Up
Original Member
Nostradumbass 18
Nostradumbass 19
Patreon Supporter
Comments
Vote Up
Original Member
Nostradumbass 18
Nostradumbass 19
May 28, 2020 11:15 am
Reply to  Kosta
comment image

Klam
Patreon Supporter
Comments
Vote Up
Original Member
Nostradumbass 18
Nostradumbass 19
Patreon Supporter
Comments
Vote Up
Original Member
Nostradumbass 18
Nostradumbass 19
May 28, 2020 11:22 am
Reply to  RobHessing

“Hey, nice mask. Are you a Kings fan?”

“How did you know?”

comment image

ZillersCat
Patreon Supporter
Comments
Vote Up
Patreon Supporter
Comments
Vote Up
May 28, 2020 11:57 am
Reply to  Klam

He is a Bagley Fan.

L-Train3.1
Patreon Supporter
Comments
Original Member
Vote Up
Patreon Supporter
Comments
Original Member
Vote Up
May 31, 2020 2:52 am
Reply to  RobHessing

That is quite funny.

TonyXypteras
Admin
Original Member
Author
Comments
Vote Up
Original Member
Author
Comments
Vote Up
May 28, 2020 11:21 am

Man, that Ronnie Price dunk. I remember watching it live and losing my mind. I kind of always felt he was better than his limited minutes would indicate.

SanjeshSingh
Member
Comments
Original Member
Author
Comments
Original Member
Author
May 28, 2020 2:18 pm

Kevin Martin was one of favorites growing up. I liked his shooting form a lot, not sure why. It was different but it worked

L-Train3.1
Patreon Supporter
Comments
Original Member
Vote Up
Patreon Supporter
Comments
Original Member
Vote Up
May 31, 2020 2:43 am

 but after this no one would ever question drafting a kid out of a southern college over an international player ever again.

Hey…waaaaaaaaaaaait a minute…

Badge Legend

Patreon Supporter Patreon Supporter   Registered On Day 1 Registered On Day 1   Published Post Published Post  Published Post Nostradumbass
Comment Up Votes 200 Up Votes   Comment Up Votes 500 Up Votes    1,000 Up Votes    3,000+ Up Votes
Comments 50 Comments   Comments 100 Comments    250 Comments    500 Comments    1000+ Comments