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Rivals Review: Washington Wizards

Taking a closer look at an opponent's offseason.
By | 31 Comments | Aug 2, 2024

NBA: Atlanta Hawks at Washington Wizards

Dec 31, 2023; Washington, District of Columbia, USA; Washington Wizards forward Kyle Kuzma (33) celebrates with guard Jordan Poole (13) during the first half against the Atlanta Hawks at Capital One Arena. Mandatory Credit: James A. Pittman-USA TODAY Sports

To get us through the late-Summer doldrums of the NBA, we’re reviewing teams from around the league and how their offseasons went. 

Washington Wizards

Key Additions:

Jonas Valanciunas
Alexandre Sarr
Bub Carrington
Saddiq Bey
Malcom Brogdon
Kyshawn George

Key Losses:

Tyus Jones
Deni Avdija

Offseason Review and 2024-25 Season Outlook:

The Wizards are, without question, one of the most confusing teams in the NBA. The organization is rebuilding, but acquired Jonas Valanciunas. The team is going young, but unloaded Deni Avdija, a young player on an excellent contract. The team wants to unload veterans to acquire draft capital, a la the OKC model, but reportedly has sky high asking prices for veterans, and that approach led to the Wizards losing Tyus Jones for nothing this offseason. I truly can’t understand what the Wizards are doing.

That isn’t to say that the Wizards are all bad. Despite the front office overvaluing him, Kyle Kuzma is still a solid player on a great contract and you have to assume that eventually the Wizards will get some decent assets for him. Bilal Coulibaly, Bub Carrington, and Alex Sarr are three young guys with considerable upside, and while it’s unlikely that all three develop into great players, there’s decent odds that at least one of them turns out really good. The Saddiq Bey signing was a steal. Bey will miss a good chunk of this season recovering from injury, but then will be on a fantastic contract. Malcom Brogdon might also be able to be flipped for assets this season. So there are positives in DC.

But for all the good pieces, there are offsetting perplexities. Jordan Poole, Marvin Bagley, Johnny Davis, Richaun Holmes, it’s just such an odd collection of players.

I have no clue  what the Wizards are doing, but it’s discombobulated enough that they should still be squarely in the lottery, and that’s really all that matters for Washington this season.

Why We Hate Them:

They employ Jonas Valanciunas, our sworn enemy.

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RobHessing
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August 2, 2024 9:16 am

Please don’t Kuz.

Adamsite
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Nostradumbass 14
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Nostradumbass 14
August 2, 2024 9:46 am

I actually feel sorry for Wizard fans, and that goes without mentioning how bad and raw Sarr looked in summer league.

RobHessing
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August 2, 2024 10:12 am
Reply to  Greg

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Kosta
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August 2, 2024 12:07 pm
Reply to  RobHessing

3×3 Olympian!

Also, now that Breaking is an Olympic event, maybe he could watch that event.

Hobby916
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August 2, 2024 10:11 am
Reply to  Adamsite

Appeared to me that they want him to shoot the 3 right from the get go. I expect his confidence to be gone by the all-star break. That organization is just so bad. They make odd moves and don’t seem to have a direction.

UpgradedToQuestionable
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August 2, 2024 10:20 am

The Wizards have lost their magic. They wand-er through the last few seasons, with an odd cast. Their decisions are spellbinding. There is even talk of their moving locales – they started as Bullets in Baltimore (those teams from 50(!) years ago were intriguing – Wes Unseld, Gus Johnson, Jack Marin, and the incomparable Earl “the Pearl” Monroe (is Kyrie the modern Pearl?) and then they added The Big E – Elvin Hayes. The Bullets finished atop their division six times in that decade and qualified for the playoffs each year, winning their only NBA title in the 1977–78 season. And let’s not forget 2001-2003 when Michael Jordan donned a jersey. Now they are in mist of a possible move from D.C. to Alexandria, VA.

Seems like ages ago… because it was ages ago. This franchise looks eerily familiar to what we Kangz fans have faced until these past two seasons. That seems ages ago… but it wasn’t.

We have to look at ownership – Ted “Section214” Leonsis (apologies… there was a time there was a similarity. Not so much anymore). The franchise appears rudderless once again.

What will they do with Kuzma, Jonas, Jordan Poole, Marvin Bagley III ? It’s anyone’s guess. I actually believe, if he is not broken, Jordan Poole would do wonders as a 6th Man scorer – he seems to have the Jordan Crawford/Terrence Ross/Malik Monk skills.

Maybe Cooper Flag, Ace Bailey or Khaman Malauch will turn them around…

Kosta
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August 2, 2024 12:10 pm

Wizards legend Michael Jordan!

Last edited 8 months ago by Kosta
RikSmits
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August 2, 2024 12:39 pm

Kyrie is the Flat Pearl.

UpgradedToQuestionable
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August 2, 2024 1:03 pm
Reply to  RikSmits

Was Earl Monroe’s birthing parent called Abalone?

RobHessing
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August 2, 2024 1:14 pm

Sandy.

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August 2, 2024 2:40 pm
Reply to  RobHessing

her favorite actress was Shelly Winters
her favorite Olympian Summer Sanders

Last edited 8 months ago by UpgradedToQuestionable
RobHessing
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August 2, 2024 3:38 pm

Favorite STD: Clamidia.

Daydreamer
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August 2, 2024 2:58 pm

Actually, fact: Earl’s parents were Oyster (mom) and Sandy (dad) Monroe.

Hippity_Hop_Barbershop
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August 2, 2024 11:33 am

Their team lineup reads like a first-year fantasy player who got really drunk and thought he was smarter than everyone else on the available player list/waivers.

Kosta
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August 2, 2024 12:14 pm

“But for all the good pieces, there are offsetting perplexities. … Marvin Bagley…”

comment image

andy_sims
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August 2, 2024 1:41 pm
Reply to  Kosta

This effing guy…

I still can’t stand seeing him at home games. And this isn’t about Bagley. It’s about Luke Walton.

RobHessing
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August 2, 2024 1:48 pm
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Mike120
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August 2, 2024 3:50 pm

Off topic. Name current or former Kings playing in the Olympics now. I’ll start, Bruno Caboclo
Apologies if this has been covered already.

Last edited 8 months ago by Mike120
RobHessing
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August 2, 2024 4:52 pm
Reply to  Mike120

Jimmer Fredette.

Sara Janelle Trampe
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August 2, 2024 8:15 pm
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Papa G

murraytant
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August 2, 2024 10:15 pm
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Lyles

RikSmits
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August 3, 2024 7:46 am
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Wenyen Gabriel.

Kosta
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August 3, 2024 10:14 am
Reply to  Mike120

I had to check if Anna Peplowski was related to Kings legend Mike Peplowski, but alas she is not.

There’s also a Brady Ellison on the archery team, but I can’t imagine Pervis having sharpshooting progeny.

Last edited 8 months ago by Kosta
Adamsite
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Nostradumbass 14
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August 3, 2024 3:10 pm
Reply to  Kosta

isnt’t there a Barry in the 3 on 3 BBall game? Is he of the BBall Barry family? I saw him shooting free throws in the Barry fashion.

SuperShaka
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August 3, 2024 7:50 pm
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Canyon. He’s the Barry son that still likes his dad.

Sara Janelle Trampe
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August 3, 2024 5:40 pm
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Haliburton

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August 5, 2024 12:30 pm
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Mathew Dellavedova

Jordi Fernàndez

Last edited 8 months ago by UpgradedToQuestionable
peyroux
August 30, 2024 10:47 am

Last edited 8 months ago by peyroux

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