In an annual tradition dating back to our previous site, we always have an annual nickname thread. Back in the day these were geared towards Jerry Reynolds, and several of them (such as The Brockness Monster and The Great Rudini) found their way onto the broadcasts.
Jerry retired a few years ago and now has a wonderful podcast right here with the Kings Herald. Doug Christie picked up the mantle, but he’s now moved onto the coaching staff. As Kayte Christensen takes over the analyst role, we have no idea how often she may or may not incorporate silly nicknames. Nonetheless, we want to be prepared.
We have new rookies Davion Mitchell and Neemias Queta, who both already have some great nicknames. We have a returning Alex Len, a slew of returning players from last season, and new addition Tristan Thompson.
So let’s see what you’ve got. Let’s hear your best nickname suggestions for any of the new or the returning players!
Bam Simmons!
Davion with the savion!
Off-night with the good-night kiss!
“Coleman was camping in the paint.”
“He sat out last game due to a sore hamstring, but Buddy healed.”
“Emanuel is Terr’ing it up out there!”
Tris Ten-Boards tonight!
This one could definitely see some use.
Can you SimFox the love tonight?
Harrison Barnes – Teetotaler
Richard Holmes – Sherlock
Davion Mitchell – Off Night (already perfect)
Tyrese Haliburton – T Slick
Marvin Bagley III – Trey Bags (or Mr. Glass)
I like the double meaning of Mr. Glass.
Hah! I did it more often than I saw you finish with your right hand, Mr. Glass.
Offering a fascinating glimpse into my mental problems, I was falling asleep in bed last week, and a really great nickname for Louis King popped into my head, but I haven’t been able to remember what it was. So, I’ll just default to Sweet Lou. File under Hardly Original.
This is a tough group to tag for some reason.
“Lou is King”
After a good play, “Just Lou King!”
I don’t think that I need to clarify that this isn’t the really good one.
Righteous cognomen, man!
I like what D-Lo and KC came up with. ” Louis the King”. It has grown on me.
That’s what I’ve called him since the CA Classic
Le King, c’est moi. Or, of course, Lou King, c’est moi.
Jahmi’us Slamsey
A Mitchell steal: D-Bag.
Davion is Davi-off the charts tonight!
Buddy: On-Night
Hali the Stallion with another breakaway dunk!
Louis the King of Kings
Fat Fox Five (he fat now, per Tyrese)
Len-credible block!
*Bonus for the 2024 Kings team*
Vanja the Man-ja Marinkovic
“The Young King” Bronny James thus resulting in
“The One True King” LeBron James
On-Night just killed me, well played
On-Night was brilliant. Was laughing so hard when I read that
“Davi-On like Donkey Kong!
Super-Hali-fragilisticexpialidocious, adj.
CM Punch with the slam!
T. ‘burton playing scary defense!
King Louie!
The SACRAMENTO LOLs
For only when Mitchell guards Kyrie: “Much like Qanon, Davion is conspiring to take down the Nets.”
I’ll see myself out…
Ok, one more, for one Chimezie brings some good defense:
”Chimezie brought an end to the offensive behavior with the Metu Movement.”
Med-tu COVID shot to Kyrie’s arm!
That’s just excellent.
When Fox and Mitchell share the floor, and if Mitchell IS good on defense:
Fox and the Hound.
So good!
Dammit. You beat me to it.
“In sports, Sacramento Kings head coach Luke Walton finally watched the tape today. When asked by a reporter what insights he gained from watching the tape, Walton replied: “Good God almighty I suck.”
They’re not booing – they’re saying “Luuuuuuuke.
…
…
…
No, check that…they are booing.”
Reminds me of when I went to a Kings game with my Dad at G1 in December 2019, and when Walton was introduced during the pregame intros, I heard many people booing, including my Dad and I.
You know who else sucks? That’s right, Frank Stallone
After a loss, or win…
What-the-Fluke Walton
I look forward to you posting this after every one of the Kings’ 47 losses this year. No snark – make it happen!
This is so great
“Call him Hali Berry because he is a Monster with the Ball”
Heheh, very nice.
Ramsey with the slamsy!
Davion Mitchell a.k.a The Man of Steal
“Fluke Walton with a surprisingly nice play call”
“Foxy with some moxie on that drive”
“Buddy Hield, using a Holmes shield, and hitting another bucket from the field”
“Harkless with the Dagger! Ohhhh Maurice, How could you be so Harkless!”
Yes!
The 3 guard lineup of Davion, De’Aaron, and Tyrese shall be called the DDT.
The Three Guardmigos!
(We know which amigo Mitchell is!)
“Jefe, would you say we have a plethora of guards?”
Wherever there is injustice, you will find us. Wherever there is suffering, we’ll be there. – Kings fans ..
Three Ameowgos
When all 3 has hot shooting night, The Three Flamengos
When all 3 have a cold night from long distance, The 3’s A No Go..
If Tyrese Haliburton is having a bad game, he can be referred to as Halitosis. Hopefully he won’t have too many of those games.
You need to stop 🤣🤣🤣
Paper Bag-ley. Obviously.
Trash Bagley
Garbage Bagley
Recycled Bagley
I mean I know it’s a little late, so I doubt anyone will see this…but I think all parties concerned would prefer a
To-Go Bagley
“The Hal-ucination.” So good he can’t possibly be real!
De’Aaron Flex.
You know, because of all those new muscles!
I De’Aaarontee it!
The SACRAMENTO SOS
same ol’ shit
Paper Bagley.
Luke “You should see my tapes” Walton
Alvin “Not here to replace the coach” Gentry
Monte “Maybe Next Season” McNair
Joe “Not here to replace the GM” Dumars
Matina “I know where the bodies are, because I put them there” Kolokotronis
Vivek “I repeat the same mistakes 2.0 seconds ahead” Ranadive
Off Night in Mitch-Hell
Not really a nickname but this is how my weird brain works and there’s no better place to share. In my head, whenever Louis King does something cool, my brain does the 2 Chainz voice for “LOU KANG”.
I blame it on Brad’s Twitter name being Liu Kangz for a while.
If Gary Payton was “the Glove”, Davion Mitchell is “the Gauntlet”!
The Gimp Suit.
Tyrese Haliburton’s best anagram:
“Lottery Snub, I hear.”
Defensive win celebrated with Davion Perignon
I made a strawberry hot sauce this weekend and called it…
“StrawBuddy Hields”
I thought it was clever.
Forever!
Shit I need to add that in lol
Fox and “The Hounds”…no?
For when Davion shuts down a play and it leads to a Kings score:
The King of the Four-Point Swing!
Davion with the Steal – Mitch-Hell-No!
Shot blocking and rebounding, thats a Lenn Diagram right there
Badge Legend