The slow motion, clown car explosion known as the Timberwolves has rolled their drama troupe into the Capital City and are hoping to spread their special brand of misery to every man, woman and child that set their eyes upon them. With one of the most talent heavy rosters in the NBA, the Wolves aren’t lacking for players that would absolutely cream the Kings any other year; what they lack is leadership. Coach/President/General Asshat Tom Thibodeau has once again brought his patented brand of defense to Sactown, Team Leader Jimmy Butler has brought his style of captainship, and all world talents Karl Anthony-Town and Andrew Wiggins have brought their chilly, crisp version of flash and fire. I swear if the Kings find a way to motivate THIS team…

Let’s talk Kings basketball.

When: Friday, November 9th; 7 pm PST

Where: Golden 1 Center, Sacramento, CA

TV: NBCSCA

Radio: KHTK Sports 1140 AM

For Your Consideration

There aren’t enough bytes on the web to explain just how tragic and ridiculous this season for the Timberwolves has been. With last year being an emotional roller coaster that wound up in their first playoff birth in over a decade, to being a team so inexplicably obsessed with measuring dicks that they’ve sent a Prince themed tape measure to StR headquarters for Richard Ivanowski. It’s disappointing, mostly for long suffering Minnesota fans and talking about them physically pains me.

Lets get to the the on court product. If you haven’t tuned in lately, that was a quip up there when I made mention of Thibs patented defense. The man who was widely given credit for being a defensive genius during those Celtics championship runs and later with the Bulls, hasn’t had a team higher than 25th in defensive rating since he joined the Wolves. This year? They’re sitting at 29th, and are giving up 117.4 points per game, 25th in the league in that. For a team that is first in the league in blocks, second in the league in steals: that takes a special brand of whattheeffedness to pull that off.

On offense, the Timberwolves are again, spread across the spectrum. They attempt the most field goals in the NBA, but are only 26th in percentage. They’re taking the most two point shots, and are the worst team in the league at hitting them, with their field goal percentage from inside the arc being 46.6%. This is with a big man with transcendent NBA talent in KAT. They’re just outside the Top 10 in three point percentage at over 36% from deep, they get to the free throw line well (7th most free throws in the NBA) and when they get there, they’re the 5th best free throw shooting team in the league at 81.9% from the charity stripe. They can absolutely beat the Kings in they put together a good game. With back and forth nature on the court and this stuff swirling over their heads like a aurora borealis of assholery of the hardwood, Minnesota doesn’t really resemble wolves, but a different creature in the high north country. I move to rename them, the Bi-Polar Bears.

No game should be a trap game when the Kings are out performing their expectations as much as they are, but my goodness would this be a deflating one to lose. I’m not saying Sacramento isn’t going to have a tough time with this squad. The Bears aren’t a bad team, only currently a very distracted one. But here’s where the Kings will win out: time management. If Thibs plays his core guys as often as he has in the past, these Bears are going to be absolutely toast in the second half. Playing guys 40+ minutes didn’t make sense five years ago. Now with teams speeding up and possessions becoming even more frequent and ESPECIALLY against a Kings squad that plans to run and gun all night, the Bears could be in for a long, long night.

Special shout out to Timberwolves superfan and one of my very best friends, Leo. Guy flew all the way from Los Angeles to see this circus at the Golden 1 Center tonight, and on his 30th Birthday no less. Happy Birthday, and I’m sorry about the price of booze at G1C. Maybe the comments can help direct you to the cheapest alcohol in the house tonight.

Prediction

De’Aaron Fox runs through a point guard I refuse to acknowledge in a professional setting, Willie Cauley-Stein outperforms his Wildcat teammate, and Bogi hits 5 threes off the bench for Sacramento. Leo gets drunk, finally switches fandoms to the Kings after years of pressure from me. His new team wins a championship the same year he switches, I get to call him a bandwagoner the rest of his life.

Kings 128, Bi-Polar Bears 114