The girl was never there
It's always the same
I'm running towards nothing
again and again and again

JAZZ, WHO ARE YOU?

The Jazz lack Carlos Boozer and Andrei Kirilenko, according to early reports. Utah has the 4th best offense in the league and the 15th ranked defense. The team plays super slow, so the people inside your TV never acknowledge that Utah, at its current state, has a great offense and a mediocre defense. Also, in the common mindset of the TV people, fouling a lot means you care about defense. But fouling a lot just means you foul a lot, and it's actually bad for your defense. Utah fouls a lot, and it's bad for its defense.

Deron Williams will bust your ass on the pick-and-roll all day and all night. Little-known fact: Mehmet Okur hates shooting, and became Turkey's greatest 7-foot jump shooter begrudgingly. He really wants to stand under the rim and dunk all day, like Dwight Howard or Jarron Collins. Paul Millsap is what they* call a load.

* They=Jerry Reynolds.

YOUR SACRAMENTO KINGS

John Salmons and Kevin Martin are game-time decisions. I don't think Martin will shoot us in the heart. He knows half of us only woke up today on the chance he'd play. (The other half loves tacos, and it is Taco Tuesday suckers!) Spencer Hawes will start at power forward alongside Brad Miller. Francisco Garcia is still alive.

BOLD WAGER

See the poll below. If a majority of StR voters guess incorrectly, Kenny Thomas gets nacho cheese all over the suit.

THE TIP

In a pinch, vodka makes for an excellent hand sanitizer.

THE REAL TIP

The game is set for 7PM PST. Let's go Kings.