Buddy Hield will win tonight’s 3-point contest. Mark it down.

 Ah, I see you visibly recoiling at that sentence, dear reader. Perhaps you’re the superstitious type who’s been burned by recent Tim Maxwellian jinxes on Twitter. Or maybe your religion preaches that the meek shall inherit the earth and pride comes before the fall. Or maybe you’re just a coward who is scared of Buddy’s greatness. 

Chill out. This one’s already over. The King of shooters will be crowned tonight.

The competition is a sideshow. Steph Curry will choke on the big stage the way he always does. Dirk Nowitzki will be wheelchaired across the racks and fail to finish. Damian Lillard will retire as a player to break NBA news full-time after his pathetic score is posted. Seth Curry will be tossed out by security as a poor Steph impersonator. Who else is even in the competition? Some of these names have to have been made up. Khris Middleton? Whats with the K? Joe Harris? From accounting?

Here are the facts: Buddy Hield’s current level of volume and efficiency behind the three point line is unmatched. He currently ranks fourth in the NBA in three pointers made with 195, but nobody in the top 15 can match his 3P percentage of 44.9%. Only Steph Curry is even remotely close (at 44.4%). Note, however, at the same age (26 years old) Curry was knocking down 3.6 three pointers per game at 44.3%. Buddy is at 3.4 three pointers made per game at 44.9%. Time to abdicate the throne, old man. Buddy is here. 

And this is just the beginning. Buddy has slowly revved up his shooting prowess as the season has come along. In the first two months of the season, Buddy hit 2.4 three pointers per game at 42.5%; since then, he’s scorched the nets for 4.0 three pointers made per game at 45.9%. His January numbers are particularly absurd: 4.2 three pointers made per game at a blistering 53.4%. For an entire damn month. Incredible. 

All hail Buddy Hield, King of shooters. He who showers Buckets copiously on his enemies. He whose age we know not, whose Love is unbounded, whose Freshness is unquestioned. He whose prayer we all cry in unison: Thank God For Life, Health and Strength  ✊