(Right here is where I'd like to thank my good friends over at McCovey Chronicles for the "[insert Los Angeles team name here] are evil" jokes that will follow. Their joke that I am now stealing. For proof, go ahead and Google "The Dodgers are evil." See that? Let's make it happen for "The Lakers are evil" and Sactown Royalty.)

(Also, I'm totally stalling for space to make it so the logo to the right doesn't bump against the blockquote box. I totally haven't figured out to work the spacing issue, so I'm mickey-mousing it. Sorry. Feel free to proceed to the next paragraph, or the next blog for that matter. Nothing to see here. Just stalling.)

For a no-nonsense, just-the-fact-ma'am look at the evil Lakers, I turned to one of the best hoopsbloggers out there (not to mention kind), Kurt of Forum Blue and Gold:

In all seriousness, there's little I can add to this fantasticly thorough analysis, except that the Lakers are evil.

I feel I should be more worried about The Show than I am. The key thing hovering in my head leading to my dismissal of the team, though, is that they upgraded one position in the offseason, and that position doesn't play a minute.

There's little to no doubt that coaching matters a lot in the NBA. You saw it in Denver last season. You'll see it this year in Detroit (Flip is a good defense schemer, but a lackluster motivator and adjuster, it seems). You might see it in New York (if Larry Brown doesn't commit homicide first).

Rudy T. never had control of that team last season, and the Warrior-like leadership void towards the end of the campaign was truly mindblowing. Remember, that team tied for the division cellar. No small feat for a team coming off a conference championship.

Will Phil get that extra two pounds of defense while maintaining high offensive efficiency? I don't see why not – Aaron McKie should be loads better on D than Chucky Atkins was, and Kobe will be forced to regain some tenacity on that side of the floor. It could happen.

But there's going to be a learning curve on offense, potentially bigger than Sacramento's. The Lakers could have a very bad start to the season as everyone catches up.

It feels like I'm treading water here, so I'll shut up. I know if I was a Lakers fan, I'd be concerned about Kobe vs. Phil. That's a volcano waiting to erupt. I plan on reviewing the Phil book within a few weeks (having just finished it). By reviewing, I mean completely mocking.

TZ's Prediction: Crap. This team is the biggest question mark in the league. We've learned our lesson from Phil and Kobe before. Let's just go with: 43-46 wins, 3rd place in the division, and 8th in the conference. Destroyed by the Spurs in round one. Kobe plays 70 games. Kings take the season series 3-1.