THE OPPONENT

The juggernaut [REDACTED] bring a sterling 23-5 record with them to Sacramento. Of course, when you realize they have played 19 of those at home, that they are just 6-5 against teams with winning records, and that they embody evil during a time of love and giving, they look a bit more like the lily-livered pipsqueaks they truly are. (Yes, that's right Pau, your liver is made up of lillies. No wonder you can't hold your bourbon! Lillies have terrible permeability!)

I would post the [REDACTED] roster, but I've said enough curse words today already.

THE KEY BATTLE

BOLD PROCLAMATION

Kobe will set fire to a courtside fan after being called for palming.

INTERESTING SIDESHOW

More MVP chants for Beezlebub (God forgive us), or Reke?

NUMERIC PREDICTION

Kings by 7.

DETAILS

7PM start. Two Game Threads (7 and 8), a post-gamer (9:45) and a recap (manana).