Run (don't walk) over to ESPN.com to read Sam Alipour's ridiculously entertaining account of one night in Illinois with Ron Artest and his Tru Wariers.

There's really too much to talk about going on in that thing. Seriously, go read it. Quoting it here wouldn't do it justice.

But… there is one pull-out that definitely needs to be highlighted. It's about our hands-on owners:

Okay, and one more, on Team USA:

Like I said, read that thing! It's the definitive book in the Canon of Ron-Ron.