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Kings vs. Lakers Preview: The Future is Now, Old Man

The 7th seeded Lakers are clinging to .500 and the Kings have a shot at knocking them down a peg or two.
By | 16 Comments | Jan 4, 2022

The Kings are in LA today to take on the various skeletons left in the souless, corporate vacuum of humanity surrounding the arena once known Staples. Can the Kings pull off another classic 3OT victory in LA? Probably not. Can they smack this group of ringchasers and has-beens around their resting place, put them down and finally give their loved ones and stans the closure that they’re finally at peace? They’re in a hell of their own making and destiny deems they’re to go through this torture for another 44 games so who are we to interfere… going to say no on this one too! Oh well, guess we’ll just have to get a dub tonight!

Let’s talk Kings basketball!

When: Tuesday, January 4th, 7:30 PM PT

Where: Crypto.com Arena, Los Angeles, CA

TV: NBCSCA -Mark Jones (play-by-play)

RadioKHTK Sports 1140 AM

For Your Consideration

All The King’s Horses: This Lakers team is miserable to watch. No spacing, no redeemable characters, not a single person there concerned that their coasting is going to bite them in the ass come playoff time. Just toxic vibes and LeBron James swimming in the quicksand that is the great Los Angeles metropolitan area. I love it. I can’t deny LeBron playing at an absolutely ridiculous level at the age of 37 – averaging 28.5 points per game at his age is just one of those things a brain can hardly accept from a historical perspective.  While, Father Time might not have caught up with Lebron James the player just yet, but Mother Common Sense is back behind the woodshed, slapping the shit out of LeGM right now. The rest of this team Lebron has hand chosen is giving him absolutely NOTHING to work with.

Anthony Davis, the player handpicked by Lebron to close his career with, has a body weaker than a stream of gnat’s piss. While I won’t stoop so low as to celebrate injury to anyone, I will say there’s something very classic-tropey about a King handpicking his successor only to have that man fail the task for one reason or another. I wonder if Duncan would have done a full Wonderlic and day of examinations to determine MacBeth’s fit on the team if they’d been available. Would King Lear have traded Goneril, Regan and a million little manservants for Cordelia if he knew she would crumble to dust for 30 games every year? For all the hype Carmelo has gotten this year, he’s just another year older and another year more fed up with listening to suggestions about his game. Russell Westbrook was acquired solely so that the social media team in LA had something to do other than hype up Austin Reeves like he’s the second coming of Alex Caruso. They’re a mess and happy to report the diagnosis on them getting better isn’t good. 

So the Kings should blow this team out of the water then? Hell no. The Kings are still very much a laughingstock of their own, they just come with the lowest expectation of any professional franchise in America, so the pressure is different. If the Lakers blow the Kings out tonight? Duh. If the Kings put a scare into them, take it the wire? I’m pumping my chest like KG under falling confetti. They win? I’m texting every Lakers fan I know and laughing at the fact they’ve lost twice to THIS Kings squad. It’s where we are with this franchise. I’m good with it.

Prediction

Kings wax the Lakers. Buddy Hield begs for a trade at the end of the game, per usual and LeBron ignores him like a dog avoiding a “Who pooped in the house??” inquiry.

Kings: 128, Lakers: 99

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Klam
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Nostradumbass 18
Nostradumbass 19
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Nostradumbass 19
January 4, 2022 10:58 am

So is the title of this article a jab at ElRon? 😉

Jman1949
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January 4, 2022 11:00 am

The LeBrons fighting off a tailspin.
Against good teams they’ve struggled to win.
Falling out of the race
And no way to save face—
Sure they’re happy to welcome us in!

1951
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January 4, 2022 11:04 am

If we can get Buddy into a Lakers uniform before tip off, then I’d feel much better about our chances!

Carl
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January 4, 2022 11:47 am
Reply to  1951

Yeah, we would be acquiring Westbrook in that scenario, which legit worries me with this team forever desperately trying to get out of the bottom five in the conference. I’m sure McNair isn’t that dumb. Dumars I’m less sure, and Vivek is the real worry. Maybe it can’t happen because of money, thankfully.

Last edited 2 years ago by Carl
Adamsite
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Nostradumbass 14
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Nostradumbass 14
January 4, 2022 12:32 pm
Reply to  Carl

It can happen, if the Lakers were simply looking to dump salary, but they’d be very weak at PG.

Buddy, Marvin, and Harkless for Westbrook works.

Buddy, TT, Harkless for Westbrook works.

Buddy, TT, TD (once he can be traded) works.

It would be admission of defeat by the Lakers since they basically gave up all of their depth in Kuzma, Harrell, and Pope to get Westbrook only to end up with Buddy and filler.

RPO
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RPO
January 4, 2022 5:41 pm
Reply to  1951

I’m guessing Buddy will be raining bricks everywhere tonight and will effectivey be the L*kers best defender.

RobHessing
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January 4, 2022 12:06 pm

comment image

Kosta
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January 4, 2022 12:57 pm
Reply to  RobHessing

…You would see
the biggest brick would be from me

and the card attached would say
thank you for not being a Buddy

SMF-PDXConnection
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January 4, 2022 12:32 pm

Will, are you saying we should . . . Just Say No?

who are we to interfere… going to say no

You sly dog with your Reagan references.

ScottyPop
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January 4, 2022 12:37 pm

Slightly off topic and not sure where to post this, but Jaguar fans have a pretty awesome social media embarrasment tactic going against their ownership/management. Maybe we could do something similar but instead of the clown with the mustache it could be a clown doing the shaka?

https://twitter.com/MySportsUpdate/status/1478428670222118919

Gregoryl
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January 4, 2022 1:10 pm
Reply to  ScottyPop

Any 49ers fan knew the Trent Baalke hire was a huge blunder for Jacksonville.

SMF-PDXConnection
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January 4, 2022 1:20 pm
Reply to  Gregoryl

The only good thing about the Jacksonville Jaguars is they provided a lot of good material for The Good Place.

ScottyPop
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January 4, 2022 2:54 pm
Reply to  Gregoryl

No doubt about that

Carl
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January 4, 2022 5:24 pm
Reply to  Gregoryl

Baalke was terrible

RPO
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RPO
January 4, 2022 5:47 pm

If I know the team’s mentality like I think I do, they feel like the last win was enough winning for a while. They’ll have tuned out by the third quarter tonight, or sooner, and lose by a hefty margin.

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