The Sacramento Kings have won four straight games and head to Los Angeles to take on a LeBron-led squad that’s lost three of their last four games. With Anthony Davis, Austin Reeve’s and Lonnie Walker IV sideline, a questionable King James will have to decided if he can muster yet another fourth quarter win against the 4th seeded Kings squad, or leave his team in the hands of Russell Westbrook, Thomas Bryant and the basketball gods themselves. Will Thomas Bryant find his way to another – okay, okay. I can’t do this shit. I can’t write a regular preview about this offense to basketball. Fuck the Lakers, I’ll see you below the fold.
Let’s talk Kings basketball!
When: Wednesday, January 18th, 7:30 PM PT
Where: Sam Bankman-Fried Memorial Stadium
TV: NBC Sports California
Radio: Sactown Sports 1140
For Your Consideration
Nunn to Talk About: The Lakers have offended the universe. I’m sure of it. Nothing, not car accidents I’ve survived, or finding wads of money in the streets, or hearing the wind whisper at sunset along the backs of a million stalks of tall grass as I pondered my meaningless life… nothing has brought me closer to the idea of a design, or a grand scheme for this world than knowing that we were sent biblical winds and flooding in Sacramento as soon as the Los Angeles Lakers pulled away from their terminal gate with a win. The sun is shining in Sacramento today, the waters are pulling back and the stench of the abomination that is the ’22-23 Los Angeles Lakers has gone with it. So let’s have another go at it, shall we?
Look back a couple of weeks. The Lakers had rattled off five straight wins, including that fine piece of referee handiwork in Sacramento eleven days ago, and Sepulveda Boulevard was flooded with joyful tears, as frantic back-pats and high-fives from men who facetune their mother in the annual holiday Instagram posts could be heard from Castaic to San Clemente. The Lakers were BACK, baby.
Annnnd then they lost three of their next four, with their lone victory being against the Houston Rockets, by eight, in a game where LeBron had to score FORTY-EIGHT to keep in close. They’re currently sitting above only the Spurs and the Rockets. Lebron’s calling up Sam Amick for an exclusive interview where he’s screaming in the best PR language he can that stuff needs to change NOW, waking up out of his bezerker rage only to quote tweet Sam that he’s not mad, he’s not frustrated he’s definitely not turning into a corncob only to have the Lakers announce that they’re going to work out DeMarcus Cousins.
What kind of franchise hears an all time great’s pleas for help and immediately goes to Meyers Leonard and says “hey, you’ve said anti-Semitic things before, how’s the rest of your Kyrie impression?”
The Lakers are cooked. They’re glazed. They’re ready to be sliced. When I have Celtics fans in my mentions after the last preview lecturing me on getting cocky around the Lakers, you know this thing is ready to be blown up. I’m sure you can tell by the energy of this preview that I’m tired of talking about them, not because it isn’t fun, but because I have a difficult time punching DOWN for this long. They suck, we know it and they’re so bad they’re no long even worth talking trash about.
Okay, being serious for a moment here. Just because I’ve got nothing mean left to say after four of these this season doesn’t mean that they aren’t humans that deserve some praise as well. This being my last Lakers preview of the season, I’ve decided to be fair and leave a good deal of space for me to say all the nice things in my heart about the other team in Los Angeles.
Please enjoy:
Prediction
The Los Angeles Lakers are rescinded, their players banned from the league, their management pushed into the phantom zone, their ownership evaporated. Kings by 150 points tonight.
Kings: 285, Lakers: 135
Luck the Fakers! Let’s end this season’s match-up series on a high note!
“. . . how’s the rest of your Kyrie impression?”
LOL
Conspiracy theorists, huddle up.
If you go to Schedule | NBA.com for the kings and scroll to tonight’s game, it is already listed as a loss.
We gave them a win up in Sac;
Tonight we should get our payback.
A win won’t come free;
We must play good “D”
To keep this stretch on the right track!
Another instant classic
LOL
I logged in to comment on that 1 thing!
Obligatory…
I don’t remember–was this obligatory gif posted or not last preview? If not, I’m wondering if that cursed us to lose that game.
I had commented that it wasn’t posted for a few hours after the article was posted. That was unacceptable. I was more on it today.
Thank you!
Light that Beam!
Auto-rec.
Rick Wreck’d rec.
Rick Roll’d
Prick Fox rec.
For a 150 point MOV, that sure is a horrible DRtg you’ve predicted. Shame on you Gold Pukey William.
I made this account just to say:
Your first Lakers preview this season was a masterpiece. All four have been gems.
Go Kings.
Appreciate you, Lurk! Looking forward to seeing you post more!
“Your next game will be against my dad’s team. I hope they smack you around, Grandpa Moses. Go Kings!”
-Jabari Smith, Jr.
That is masterful, Will.
A gem of a Preview!
FTL
LTB
If I remember correctly, the narrative of Kings vs. Lakers left off with: “we need to protect the paint.”
Don’t take the Lakers lightly. We don’t want to get trapped.
Lakers started 2-10 after they lost to the Kings on 11/11. They have been 18-14 since.
Yup. They are by no means toast. I fully expect them to be in the play-in at a minimum by the end of the season and once AD returns.
Uh-oh
https://twitter.com/James_HamNBA/status/1615855112278388736
Noooooooooo. Can LeBron sit out too tonight?
Damn….my “points in the paint” prediction might be taking a hit!
I hope this sickness isn’t spreading…
https://twitter.com/JandersonSacBee/status/1615889913496625152
https://twitter.com/James_HamNBA/status/1615888343212130304?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw
Holmes starting tonight.
I figured. He started against Denver, too.
Shit
Wasnt Fox and Sabonis at ESPN LA yesterday? He must’ve just got sick today
This is the game that Monte finally cements the idea in his head that he needs a legit backup center to Sabonis.
How do you know Monte doesn’t know that?
Welp, LeBron is playing today it looks like.
https://twitter.com/JandersonSacBee/status/1615906886322388992
Monk missed previous LA game. Let’s outshoot the Fakers
Hopefully there’s a silver lining in this loss.
Yeah, the silver lining is no game thread for endless pouting.
Mavs and Pelicans lost. There’s the silver lining.
Another is getting an opportunity to play Holmes 15-20 MPG tonight.
He’s actually playing well so far too. Metu on the other hand…
I feel like the Kings got worse taking him off the floor. I mean, what’s Mike Brown got to lose? If he plays Holmes 32 MPG tonight, is that really going to hurt anything?
And we’re still in the first half. A fan doesn’t give up on his team in the first half.
The silver lining is Lebron James inches closer to breaking the all time scoring record
Win: Fox All-Star
Loss: Domas All-Star
Or, they’re both All Stars regardless.
The silver lining in this loss is a win.
Fox puts up 40 tonight.
No TD?
kayte just doesn’t give a flying fuck about her play by play partner.
Please make another six possession point.
Why is Keegan guarding Westbrook?
Keegan with the trey. First lead
Yep. Any team can win any game, of course, but even without Sabonis the Lakers seem outmatched.
The Lakers are missing their all star too
Is Anthony Davis even in the NBA anymore?
I meant Austin Reaves 🤣
You bad!
LOL
He’s on a part time contract……..him and Gordon Hayward
They should meld Gordon Hayward and Anythony Davis together to make a player who can play 25 games a season.
Westbrook might be the Kings 3rd best player so far this half
I love that Westbrook is such a stat-hunting headcase. He can make a layup with his team down 20 and he couldn’t be happier.
Fox with 20 at halftime. Considering his fourth quarters, I think 40 might be on the low end.
Monk 1 for 7, and a grand total of one three from Monk and Huerter combined.
Barnes 2 for 7.
And the Kings still up by one.
Meanwhile, Richaun has had a nice first half, 4-4 for 8 points and 5 rebounds.
With that lackluster first half, I wouldn’t be surprised if the Kings pulled away in the third quarter.
Fox will need to do 40 mins tonight, hopefully our shooters come to life 2nd half to help
I wouldn’t be surprised. He’s already at 20 minutes in the first half.
Tale of 2 quarters. Keep ball and man in motion and we will be alright
The lack of the pick and roll for the Kings is really showing how it hurts Richaun in this game, but he seems to be doing all right in a different role.
Would love to see Fox draw some fouls on Pat Bev and piss him off.
This could be one of those close games, but the way it looks, the Kings could easily be up a dozen starting the fourth. Especially with Old Man River taking those long shots.
If only you had predicted that the Kings would be up by 12 with 2 minutes to go in the 3rd.
Kings up 12, and the faker Laker crowd deflates like a balloon full of Jack Nicholson’s farts.
Keegan taking it to the hoop!!!
Nice dunk by Keegan.
Kings and Lakers are not on the same level in any way.
Monk is playing super sloppy. He’s passing up shots for TOs.
Kendrick Nunn tried to put a move on Davion and got blocked at the three-point line LOL
Monks passed up three open threes.
You chalked in the Kings for a loss in the first half, so with the Kings up eight to start the fourth quarter, I’m glad to see your happy side.
JFC you can’t let LeBaby just walk right into the paint.
Nice drive by Lyles.
Sometimes the best thing that can happen to the Kings is Westbrook hitting a three.
Let’s hope he takes two or three more now.
Lakers with no more fouls to give. Nice.
Our bench has not brought much tonight apart from some Davion D
Smoking free throws again.
Nice stop
Nothing but…….nothing from Russ
Fox looks hurt.
Huerter matches Westbrook airball…dammit! That whole play was garbage.
Sweet move by HB
Caw caw caw
At this point just extend Monte and HB already
WTF. That security guard just walked right at Coach Brown.
👏 👏 👏 👏 👏
Fox is 42% from FT. That’s atrocious.
Fox did not do a good job of contesting that shot.
Richaun please just put this away
Yeah baby!
That should do it
LTB
Badge Legend