After an embarrassing ending to their first game in a six game homestand, the Kings are back at it again tonight to face off against the very mid-est that the NBA has to offer – the Los Angeles Lakers. Make no mistake, be not confused – the Lakers suck… and even more relevant, the Kings are pissed. The house will be packed, the ice will be packed and if Sacramento has their druthers, the bags will packed and ready to ship Lebron James, Russell Westbrook and… well… I guess Patrick Beverley (?) back to Tinseltown.
This shouldn’t be a good game tonight if you’re rooting for the team that needs Adam McKay and John C. Reilly to keep them relevant in 2022.
Let’s talk Kings basketball!
When: Wednesday, December 21st, 7:00 PM PT
Where: Golden 1 Center, Sacramento, CA
TV: NBC Sports California
Radio: Sactown Sports 1140
For Your Consideration
The King is Dead, Long Live the Kings: I’ll start my quarterly hate article of this abomination of team building with a compliment: LeBron James averaging 27 points a game at his age is an absolute miracle of modern pharmaceuticals. I don’t know what combination of HGH, kale and hard work that man has paid millions of dollars for, but damn. It works. Okay. Congrats, massive corporations. On to the hate.
This Lakers squad is built like Anthony Davis – talented at the top, ready to break at any moment, constantly overhyped. In a game last night where James, the shell of Russell Westbrook and the imprint of the shell of Anthony Davis didn’t play, the Lakers started a line-up of Dennis Shroder, Pat Bev, Lonnie Walker IV, Thomas Bryant and Troy Brown. Kings castoffs Wenyen Gabriel and Damian Jones each played more than 20 minutes. They lost by 26. Rob Lowe lookalike and NBA GM lookalike, Rob Pelinka has assembled a roster of 11th men to surround the aging talent of LeBron. BuT WiLl! AnThOnY DaViS wAs PlAyInG LiKe An MvP LaSt MoNtH, you want to scream. Well, I write a really good, error free paragraph in a preview once in a while. You don’t see me winning a goddamn Pulitzer.
The Lakers sit a half game above the OKC Thunder in the standings currently. Yes, the team that would sacrifice half of their roster in a blood ritual for another 10% in lotto odds for Victor Wembanyama, a team whose soul purpose is to get Shai Gilgeous-Alexander as many buckets as he wants while the rest of the roster finishes the eighth grade, is just mere percentage points away from being above a Lakers franchise that once again tried to hype the association up into thinking they’re a contender. ThEy’Ll Be GoOd WhEn It MaTtErs! I too am looking forward to Lebron’s jersey retirement game.
This preview is short today because the Lakers bore me. They’re an unserious franchise, who gaslight whatever fans they have left with reports of them being interested in Terrence Ross every season in the hopes that it’ll keep them coming back to the games long enough to pay off the signage removal of Crypto.com in 2023. Their star player is waiting out his contract, scoring in bunches until he passes Kareem Abdul-Jabbar all time in scoring and waiting until his real job picks up – cameos in bad romantic comedies and whatever spinoff Hollywood can imagine for Uncle Drew 2: Death of Uncle Drew, Rise of Whatever the Hell Lebron’s Name Was In That Movie. The Lakers are a pyramid scheme for hypeboys and casual watchers. You pay for merch and tickets, get to yell “17 championships bro!” to win an argument with your 10-year old nephew and they get to keep claiming relevancy when Jared Kushner or someTikTok star high on coke slither through the tunnels towards their courtside seats.
Prediction
Like I predicted on Fox40 this morning (hemhem Thanks Kevin), De’Aaron Fox wipes the floor with Russell Westbrook, Pat Bev and whatever pesky clingers-on the LakeShow can conjure up. Domantas winds up playing and goes for another 20-20 against a weak front court… Kevin Huerter hears my cries and hits 6+ threes.
Kings: 132, Lakers:111
For LA, AD’s again hobbled;
Without him, as always, they’ve wobbled.
But for us an alert—
Domas may be hurt.
Guess we’ll see what lineup Brown’s cobbled!
We need a push! (shot)
These Laker pregames from Will might just be the best thing about being a Kings fan.
Pulitzer worthy
Great preview Will and I’m dying laughing. Hope Vivek is passing out tissue to all of the possessed Laker fans who are to dumb to realize their team of Hollywood misfits aren’t cutting it as usual.
I’m guessing that if Vince Carter could play in the NBA until he was 43, then a similarly unearthly athlete like LeBron James could play in the NBA until he was 43, barring a big injury. It might seem crazy, but LeBron could possibly play around 6 more years in the NBA still.
Like Vince, not as explosively at this age, of course. But I mean….the Kings could use a veteran mentor!
We need to get Shaq back here as a minority owner to be a veteran mentor.
Drain the Lake!
Gawd damn but Will just double-tapped the whole Lakers organization in less than 700 words
Can you imagine if Greta Gerwig was a Hollywood elite, who made a movie about growing up in Tinsel Town, and she called it “Laker Bird”? Imagine the contempt Will would show towards her!
Of course, this scene wouldn’t be so shocking, because she would be jumping out of a car parked on the 405 during rush hour.
Good preview, but you went kind of easy on those bastards.
And Rob Pelinka looks like Rob Lowe if the latter had been catapulted into a brick wall face first. Which is also my dream for the halftime show.
I think I’ve figured this team out:
– games I am sure they will lose: They lose.
– games I am not sure or am nervous about the outcome: They win.
– games I am sure they will win: They lose.
If you gave up your love of the gold pukey’s, your odds would dramatically improve if for no other reason that they couldn’t hold your love of gold pukey’s against you any longer.
https://twitter.com/JandersonSacBee/status/1605689645575991296
Trap!
Man if the Kings don’t sit Domas and HB tonight, they will regret it. Same thing against the Wiz as well.
LBJ is still probable.
So?
You think the Kings can beat the Lakers with LBJ, but without Sabonis and Barnes? I’m not remotely confident in that.
Plus, It’s a division rival in a sell out game at home. I’d wager Sabonis and Barnes play.
Can? Yes. Guaranteed to do so? Of course not. It’s the NBA, nothing is guaranteed.
But you’re also at home, the Lakers are on the front end of a b2b (they play the Hornets tomorrow in LA) and they have to make a decision on how hard they go after a W tonight in Sac.
If LeBron sits, then fine, sit Sabonis and Barnes. But if he plays the Kings are going to need at least one of Barnes or Sabonis to feel comfortable about winning. LeBron can carry a team on any given night and the Kings have little to stand in his way in terms of a matchup.
Just curious, if Barnes rests, who picks up LeBron? And who comes after that person once they get in early foul trouble?
Okpala to start, Davis would be my next choice and then I’d go with Murray.
Frankly Adam, the Kings should mail in any playoff hopes if they can’t beat a Lakers team at home without AD or Westy even if they themselves don’t have Domas or HB.
Good teams win games like this at home.
Fuck the Lakers!
Kings are a 7.5 pt favorite. No AD, no Westbrook.
So I guess Thomas Bryant and Austin Reaves gonna eat tonight?
Kings need to win this one convincingly.
https://twitter.com/SeanCunningham/status/1605734569881108481
https://twitter.com/JandersonSacBee/status/1605737114221412353
Badge Legend